Thursday, September 2, 2010

Duh Moment

Every so often I read something that is so obvious, I wonder why I didn't think
of it before.

Yesterday, I read that as kids move into high school, they should make their own
appointments--drs, dentists, etc. Give them the family calendar, remind them
that they can't be in two places at one time and let them have at it.


I have such a tendency to infantilize my kids, often doing for them what
they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves. I fight this tendency all
the time.

So, I flipped the 15 year old the phone with some possible dates and an overview of what to
say and set him loose on the admissions tour lady of the college he's taking
Calc at this fall. And he politely and competently set up a campus tour for
himself (and us).

He was so pleased with himself when he got off the phone! For parents of
extroverts, this little vignette is completely unremarkable, but it's another
step toward competence and independence that can be intimidating for introverted
kids. The beloved firstborn himself commented that making the call "made him feel powerful."


Guess who I intend to have greet the receptionist and state our purpose tomorrow
when we arrive for our tour?


Blessings, Holly

1 comment:

  1. I remember when, as a HS senior, I had to call SIU to check on something, and when I got off the phone, my mom said she was proud of me. So, thanks for that memory.

    Just last night, I was telling my students' (I teach fourth grade) parents at curriculum night that we do too much for our kids. And I do get it. It's nice to do thoughtful things for our kids. But sometimes it needs to be pointed out they CAN do things for themselves, and more so, they SHOULD be.

    I once watched my friend unpack her kids' backpacks and sort through things to get their homework all set out for them, and I said, "Who does all that for them at school? Who packs their packs at school?" She looked at me and said, "I never thought about this, but they do!" And she vowed to change. I didn't hold her accountable...Her choice as a mom, but it sure would make her life easier if she let that chore go to them!